"...better than I was before."

"We've passed through fire and flood yet in the end You always bring us out better than we were before, saturated with Your goodness." Psalm 66:12 (Passion Trans.)

It's the hardest seasons that teach me the most, the painful times that make me look the most like Christ.  This past year has been one of those "wilderness" seasons...interceding and trying so hard, yet a lot of times not seeing the breakthroughs I long for.  I've been in the fire and some days I thought I would drown in the flood. When I look back on who I was a year ago, I don't recognize myself because of how much I've grown.

It's been in the darkness that I've learned how to fight.
In the midst of helping these girls process and turn to Jesus, I've been truly set free.
When I don't see results to my prayers, my faith is forced to go deeper.
Because the easy answers don't cut it anymore, I'm a raw and messy person.  I have to get honest before the very face of God and admit my doubts.
I've had to learn how to feed myself on the Word of God instead of simply looking to be filled through other people.
My worship has become more meaningful, and my dancing has gotten more wild.
I've grown to care less and less what people think of me, and when I get cursed out, oh well.  Because I know He's delighted in me!
When the girls do choose Jesus, I am overjoyed because I can see first hand how He is so good at pursuing the broken.
The struggle has made me stronger, and I no longer shrink back from confrontation and truth.
His love and their pain have wrecked me, and I'll never be the same.

Looking back, it's been so worth it.

And I'm so grateful.