When I think of leaving this mountain in a few short months, leaving these girls who are still in the middle of their healing journeys, fear and control try to sneak back into my heart. My feelings tell me the girls need me, that they won't be fully healed if I leave before they do; that moving on from here is abandoning them.
I am open to staying longer if I hear that from God, but I'm not interested in committing to something based on my human feelings. Because Jesus sweetly whispers to my heart (again) that these girls are His more than they're mine. He tells me that if He can bring girls from all over the country to a tiny little mountain town, He can certainly guide those same girls to other spiritual mentors who will walk with them and teach them. He tells me that if He can take girls who have experienced horrible abuse and turn them into worshipers and truth-seekers, He can ground them in their faith and keep taking them deeper.
He reminds me that I'm not the Savior, that I'm simply partnering with what He is already doing. And just like I don't take the credit for the miracles He works in their lives, I also don't need to take the responsibility if the girls make unhealthy choices.
And He's filling me with so much anticipation for the future! In many ways, these past months have been a wilderness season for me. Lots of hard things, painful life lessons, uncomfortable stuff to deal with... But it's all necessary for the future ministry I will walk in, the greater glory that is coming.
Again I choose to surrender these broken sometimes hard-to-love girls back to Jesus-- the One who has thought of them before the creation of the world, the One who was right beside them in their darkest days. I feel His intense, burning love for them. And I trust that Love.
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I am open to staying longer if I hear that from God, but I'm not interested in committing to something based on my human feelings. Because Jesus sweetly whispers to my heart (again) that these girls are His more than they're mine. He tells me that if He can bring girls from all over the country to a tiny little mountain town, He can certainly guide those same girls to other spiritual mentors who will walk with them and teach them. He tells me that if He can take girls who have experienced horrible abuse and turn them into worshipers and truth-seekers, He can ground them in their faith and keep taking them deeper.
He reminds me that I'm not the Savior, that I'm simply partnering with what He is already doing. And just like I don't take the credit for the miracles He works in their lives, I also don't need to take the responsibility if the girls make unhealthy choices.
And He's filling me with so much anticipation for the future! In many ways, these past months have been a wilderness season for me. Lots of hard things, painful life lessons, uncomfortable stuff to deal with... But it's all necessary for the future ministry I will walk in, the greater glory that is coming.
Again I choose to surrender these broken sometimes hard-to-love girls back to Jesus-- the One who has thought of them before the creation of the world, the One who was right beside them in their darkest days. I feel His intense, burning love for them. And I trust that Love.
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| Little League World Series with the girls and sweet Lillian |
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