Coming out of a super hard week, I'm asking God what He is doing, asking for peace in this weary heart of mine. I don't have words to pray, but I know my spirit is fighting. So I just worship.
"I may be weak, but Your Spirit's strong in me; my flesh may fail, my God You never will."
"You call me out beyond the shore into the waves; You make me brave."
"You turn my mourning into joy; You break depression! The joy of the Lord is our strength..."
A nasty fight broke out with some of the girls at the home last weekend, ending with 2 of the girls running away, and another girl traumatized because of flashbacks of her past. Thankfully the girls that ran came back and no one was seriously hurt. It was decided that for the safety of the other girls, the girl who initiated the fight needed to leave. I said goodbye to her Tuesday. My heart is heavy, and I never imagined I would have to watch a girl leave who hasn't yet completed the program, who isn't fully healed and free. Yet I believe with everything in me that Jesus will complete the work He has started in her heart!
I am wrestling with the tension of wanting so much more for every girl in the home, and feeling frustrated when we aren't seeing sustained breakthrough. I know Jesus could touch them and they could all be instantly set free, delivered of every demon, healed of every wound, trauma and illogical thought processes. That's what I want! But then He whispers that He cares so much about the process. He loves the journey. He loves pursuing their hearts slowly and watching them choose Him. He cries when they turn back to their old coping mechanisms and when they stop talking to Him and worshiping Him. But He's wooing them. He won't let them get away. They're His kids and He is fighting for them more fiercely than I ever could. He has destiny planned out for each of them and all the pain and abuse in their lives has been a direct attack on their callings. But He's all about restoration and restitution and He will win!
As my tears fall, He whispers to my heart "Your babies are My babies. I'm making you stronger... I am teaching you grace, I am increasing your faith in the midst of everything falling apart. I am showing you how to love, and how to keep loving when you are rejected. I'm proud, baby."
"I may be weak, but Your Spirit's strong in me; my flesh may fail, my God You never will."
"You call me out beyond the shore into the waves; You make me brave."
"You turn my mourning into joy; You break depression! The joy of the Lord is our strength..."
A nasty fight broke out with some of the girls at the home last weekend, ending with 2 of the girls running away, and another girl traumatized because of flashbacks of her past. Thankfully the girls that ran came back and no one was seriously hurt. It was decided that for the safety of the other girls, the girl who initiated the fight needed to leave. I said goodbye to her Tuesday. My heart is heavy, and I never imagined I would have to watch a girl leave who hasn't yet completed the program, who isn't fully healed and free. Yet I believe with everything in me that Jesus will complete the work He has started in her heart!
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| My coworker saying goodye |
As my tears fall, He whispers to my heart "Your babies are My babies. I'm making you stronger... I am teaching you grace, I am increasing your faith in the midst of everything falling apart. I am showing you how to love, and how to keep loving when you are rejected. I'm proud, baby."
"The Lord is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one. Save your people and bless your inheritance; be their shepherd and carry them forever." (psalm 28:8-9)
ReplyDelete"Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord their God. He is the Maker of heaven and earth and everything in them -- he remains faithful forever." (psalm 146:5-6)
Praying that you can know this to be true today.
he will always be faithful!