There have been a lot of surreal moments the past few weeks-- dancing to worship music till we are out of breath and dripping sweat, going for runs in the rain, deep talks and tears about forgiveness and letting go, watching Jesus encounter the girls, out for coffee and out for ice cream, listening to Misty Edwards at all hours of the day, huge breakthrough as the first girl, Destiny, has chosen to give God another chance!
But of course there's always trials before and after, around, the breakthroughs. Fights and arguments, attitudes and mood swings. Lack of patience seems to be a theme in my heart some days.
He's so worth it, though. Every day, even when I have nothing left to give. Even when it feels like one breakthrough leads to three days of hardship and doubts. He's worth it; He's beautiful.
Because the day when I saw Destiny dancing free and joyfully for the first time ever, gold worship flags swirling around her, I see what He's doing. When I see her laying on the floor laughing, and she thinks she's high, and I tell her it's just the Lord so don't even worry about it. It's just worth it.
And I pray for stability, for ongoing victory that is sustained. For the girls, but also for me. I want to live above the human nature that gives me joy when things are going well but lets me down when they aren't. I have Jesus, so I will choose to live with joy and purpose and peace even when the circumstances are hard. And He's rooting and ripping out all religion from my heart-- as I live with girls who have not an ounce of religion in them, He teaches me pure grace, pure Love that is not bound or defined by the law. It's beautiful really, even as I try to disciple and teach them, they teach me.
Funny moments too- when one of the girls and I comment on a lady's dreadlocks and she knows we aren't from around here because we know what dreads are. When my coworkers and I start using words like "tripping" and "banging", and try to be cool. When we play "Just Dance" with the girls and make up the moves when we can't keep up.
He is faithful. Every single day, whether I feel it or not. And He's moving, whether I see it or not.
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| Swimming in the creek |
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| Salamander pets from an evening hike |
"I will thank the Lord profusely, in the middle of a crowd I will praise Him, because He stands at the right hand of the needy, to deliver Him from those who threaten His life." Ps. 109:30-31
I always read your blog.. And some days at work, I can't stop thinking about you and your lovely ladies. So know that as I wash dishes and make coffee for people; you are being lifted to the throne room. Love you all.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Abby. Fighting through those hard times is what gives us traction to move. When every step feels like a war, that's when every step takes us farther than ever. Keep fighting, sister! I love you. Praying for your girls. And I'm getting really excited about seeing Amsterdam next month. :)
ReplyDeleteHello Abigail Weaver. So good to know you through your profile on the blogger. I am also glad to stop by your blog " Bare Foot Missionary" and the post on it "Worth It". It is the most stressful, risk full and Challenging ministry in any city and country. I am impressed and moved by the very fact that you are sensitive to the intense burning deep your soul to take His crazy love in to the darkness of commercial sex industry and responding to the compelling spirit of God. I am so much blessed by your dedication and commitment to the Lord and His call. Well I am from Mumbai, India being in the Pastoral ministry for last 35yrs and also involved in the ministry to the prostitutes in Mumbai. My daughter was involved with the ministry of International Justice Mission, in Mumbai rescuing minor girls from prostitution. Though my daughter had to move because of her wedding some five years back from Mumbai to Jaipur, I still have burden to reach out to the victims of trafficking. Beside this our Church has a ministry to the poorest of poor in the slums of MUMBAI. This city is known for the contrast where richest of rich and the poorest of poor live. We reach out to the poorest of poor with the love of Christ to bring healing to the broken hearted. We also encourage young people as well as adults from the West to come to MUMBAI on a short / long term missions trip to work with us in the slums of Mumbai during their summer/ Christmas vacation. We would love to have you come to Mumbai and help us in the ministry to the prostitutes. God willing I will be in the States from the third week of June to the 22nd July and will be so glad to visit you and get some more insight in to this ministry. Would love to hear from you very soon. My email id is : dhwankhede(at)gmail(dot)com and my name is Diwakar Wankhede. Looking forward to hear from you very soon.
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