MORE.

Jesus...  The Man just blesses my socks off.

...To the point that all I want to do these days is read my Bible and sing and dance and pray. 

The Holy Spirit has given me a deeper hunger for more of God than I have ever known before- and it's a beautiful thing.  Because the more time I spend with God, the more I become like Him.

I used to think that the more I would become like God, the more friends I'd have, the more people would be drawn to me, the more influence I would have.  But I'm realizing it's actually not like that at all.  Because the closer I get to the Heart of God, the more things I see in my life that I need to change.  Things that were once okay for me aren't anymore- because the bar of holiness has been raised dramatically.  And that makes some people uncomfortable.  And maybe I'll be labeled uptight and radical, and a Holy-Spirit-junkie, but I would never want to go back to who I was. 

{"...Do I seek to please men?  For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ." Gal. 1:10}

The more time I spend with my Jesus, the better I become at listening to His Voice... 
I was prayer-walking with my ministry-night-team last night in a little cluster of Rastafarian/reggae bars here in Chiang Mai.  We've only been to this place once before and it is dark.  As I left the group and walked back in the parking lot area, I heard God tell me to repent on behalf of the people there- the bar owners, the girls, the foreigners, like Daniel and the Old Testament prophets had done for Israel.  As I pleaded with God to forgive the sins of lust, greed, immorality, and whatever He laid on my heart, I just started laughing.  Because again God reminded me that revival is coming- even to Chiang Mai.  And these bars won't always be bars with satanic symbolism painted on their walls, they won't always be party-places for white men to hook up with Asian women, because our God is greater, and He will pour out His Spirit in the last days.  Even on Rasta bars.

 

As I walked past one of the bars that wasn't yet open, I saw a Thai-guy-band practicing inside... seconds after praying that God would show me who needs to receive my last two tracts.

 

 

"Abigail, go give those men the tracts."

 

"Um...that wasn't You, was it?  I can't just go into their bar- the door's not even open!  And they're busy!"

 

"Daughter- haven't you been praying for more boldness?"

 

"Yes!  ...But, but...okay.  If this is really what You want me to do, then make them stop playing."

 

A few seconds later, silence replaces the loud guitars and drums.

 

 

So because of God's work in a girl who wants to be bold, but is often fearful and timid, five friendly, long-haired, hipster Thai men have received tracts.  No conversions, no dramatic miracles or healings...just a little bit of faithfulness. 

{And alot of patience on God's part.}

 

And maybe one of these times I'll learn to obey without questioning.  Because God is replacing the fear with boldness, He is giving me the words, and He is making me more like Him.

 

And it's beautiful.