Maidservant.

I've been thinking about Mary alot lately.  Ever since Christmas.  Mary: "Highly Favored One...Blessed among women." 
She accepts God's invitation: "Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word."

But look at her life.  Everyone assumes she has been unfaithful to her fiance; she doesn't know if Joseph believes her story.  The religious leaders had every right to kill her.  As a pregnant woman she has to travel days on a donkey's back.  And she finally delivers her first child in a stinky, manure-filled barn.  Ultimately, Mary watches her firstborn Savior-son get tortured and murdered.

"Really, God?  This is what you give to someone You "highly favor"?  This is Mary's reward for living for You?"

And I look at my life... "God, I have tried so hard to follow You, to serve You with my life.  And this is what I get?  Really, God?"

But then I look at Mary's response.
"My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior... For He who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is His Name.  And His mercy is on those who fear Him from generation to generation."

And I think about my life.  The rock-bottom places have also been the Grace-of-God places.  My deepest hurts have paved the way for redemption and compassion.  The pain of my heart has refined me.

So I say with Mary "Behold the maidservant of the Lord!"